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How you speak to yourself matters!

Written by Warna Downey

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Posted on December 12 2021

So often I hear women in the dressing room complaining about their bodies and it breaks my heart. Their inner voices, from years of toxic diet culture and the pressure put on women to look like a magazine cover, have led so many of us to devalue ourselves. This has such an impact on how we feel about ourselves and its so ingrained in our society that we don’t always recognize that we are self sabotaging.

It’s not easy! I know first hand. For years I thought that there was something wrong with me because I live in a larger body. I was made fun of and bullied by my parents, my classmates, by doctors and strangers. I thought that I was failing myself and that I just didn't have the will power to do the work it took to get thin. I though that if I just lost weight that magically my life would be better. I had no idea that none of it was true. 

It took me a long time to realize I wasn't doing anything wrong. It took me a long while to realize that my self talk was a negative pattern of behavior and it causing me to miss out on fun, to delay things and put them off. I didn’t want life to pass me by so I decided to start living it and started embracing all of myself.

Am I perfect at it? No I still have bad days. I still have days when I cry because my pants don't fit or because I decided to get on a scale. I look in my closet and complain I have nothing to wear, which couldn’t be further from the truth. Somedays I just pretend I have all of the confidence in the world even if I don't. These are the days that I have to be gentle with myself and remind myself of all the good that I have in my life and of all of the good I am doing by connecting with other women who are going through the very same thing.

Working on that inner dialogue can be tough! We need to remember that how we talk to ourselves really matters and is important. So when you are having a rough time start small - tell your self that you can do it and find your value in the world. Journal about the things that make you smile. Write down what you like about yourself. And most importantly goes easy on yourself. We don't have to be perfect in this imperfect world.

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